Let It buy Go/Boy, Bye Reading

They've really got a hold on you. It happens to the best of us. There are those relationships that won't let us out of their grip—and no matter how ready we are to move on, we can't seem to. If you need to tell ‘em “boy (or girl), bye,” and let it go, then this is the reading for you. We'll explore why we're still in their thrall and how to break free—including how to protect ourselves when we're feeling weak and how to measure our progress.

Example:
What they do to keep you stuck of them.
Jester (page) of Winds (swords), 8 of Gardens (coins), 3 of Winds.

This innocent-seeming mental game (Jester) works hard on your sense of duty and responsibility (8 of gardens) and convinces you that in order to truly grow your horizons (3 of winds), you need them. Maybe they seem like a guru or a gatekeeper and that they have the skills to pay the bills, but they're far behind you intellectually and are in fact preventing your development.

How do you allow yourself to stay stuck?
6 of Winds, The Chariot, 9 of Fire

Whether you want to or not, you believe there's real beauty (6 of winds) in the effort it takes to get this person to remain harnessed to you (chariot), no matter how hard you're sweating forcing this to stay a “thing” (9 of fire). Likely they've taught you this lesson, and have you believing that the anxiety is normal and that the effort is effortless—and you have bought the lie. There's also clearly a mental connection between you (winds/air), but where the winds cards represent you, you're more advanced that they are. You don't need to put yourself through this, and even if you tell yourself its not, deep down you're worried it's true.

How they do it.
2 of Winds, Hierophant, Jester of Tides

They are in fact intellectually inferior to you (2 of winds), and while they want to be both power and someone who people believe in (hierophant), they're somewhat emotionally stunted (jester or tides). Does that mean they're a bad person? No necessarily. There's certainly an innocence to this behavior, but it is also manifested in an incredibly immature way. The desire to be held up and worshipped may be a result of that immaturity, but it's not a reason to forgive it. They may be lovable and want to be loved, but they're far from ready and they're making it your job to get them ready—and once they are, it's possible their need to be worshipped will lead them away from you, anyway.

Why you let them do it.
Queen of Fire, The Drowned (Hanged Man), The Hermit

Despite your passionate, incredible ability to nurture yourself and others as well as your deep-rooted connecting to your sensuality (Queen of Fire), you're convinced there's something wrong with your view (Drowned/Hanged Man), and because you know deep down that very few people are at your level, you worry that'll mean you'll be stuck alone. So you take these incredible—incredible, by the way; these are two majors and a queen!—strengths of yours and let them lead you to believe that you're somehow too odd or out of the way to get what you desire. So you settle for someone who tells you lets you believe that they're willing to accept these things that make you “strange.” Except they're not what make you strange, they're what make you strong. Our strengths can always be perceived as weaknesses, but only if we use their power for evil. Claim your strengths as strengths and while all relationships are settling, you clearly don't need to settle for anyone that far behind you on the journey.

How to protect yourself from their tactics as you begin to let go.
7 of Tides (cups), 8 of Tides, 10 of Tides.

It's buy hard to think of a better set of cards, here—as these all connect to your emotional development. The evolution is pretty simple, though it does require your commitment to it: Focus on the unlimited possibilities ahead of you and what makes you feel food (7), do the work for yourself that helps you move forward—and don't let anyone stop you from doing that work (8), and keep going until the great work is done (10). That's somewhat easier said than done, but remember this is how to protect yourself from their tactics—so in a sense, it can be as simple as making this into a mantra you repeat whenever you feel their influence growing: Everything is possible for me, nothing is going to stop me from moving on and working on myself, and I refuse to stop until the work is done.

How to begin the process of letting go.
The Devil, 6 of Gardens, 4 of Gardens

The first thing as always is to accept the addiction (The Devil), because that's in essence what this is. It's being stuck to something we don't want that seems like it feels good but in fact keeps us chained. Beginning with the acceptance of that is key. Because if we don't really accept there's a problem, nothing else matters. It might involve, again, making a mantra out of it: “this is a problem, and I can get out of it.” But somehow, the first step is to accept that the problem exists—before we can even resolve to come out of it. After that, it's time to re-align your responsibilities (6 of Gardens) to yourself—and to the things in your life that actually give you life (instead of, say, taking it away). What are the very real things in your daily life that give you strength? Your friends, your job, your hobbies? Anything. Re-dedicate yourself to finding the beauty in those things at every possible opportunity. And then begin recognizing how much more stable life becomes when you focus on what makes you feel good rather than what drains you (4 of gardens). Once you start to feel more secure, it's important that you actively notice what gives you that security—so that you can cling to it when you start to feel insecure, rather than backsliding.

How to check your progress as you go through this journey.
King of Winds, 10 of Fire, Stranger (knight) of Winds

We began with the intellectual connection between you and the person you're trying to let go of—and also the particularly mental game being played in order to keep you enthralled. Here, we return to intellect and mental connect, but we have two incredibly independent forces: The King and the Stranger of Winds. So, the first check of your progress is literally to measure your growing independence: “How independent do I feel today?” “What have I thought about or communicated that came from MY voice and not this other person's?”, etc… Each time you check in this way, you will see how much you've grown—and even the times when you've regressed a bit, because that's possible. But the King is committed to owning himself and the Stranger/Knight is committed to action—so you make a habit out of owning your own development. And finally, the 10 of Fire reminds you to check your level of passion you're feeling toward this growth. If you feel the fire starting to wane, revisit all of the work you've done so far so that you can rekindle that flame. Renew the commitment and let it burn as hot as possible at all times, because that will keep you motivated—and when it starts to die down, add more fire to the pit.